Try this, Mr. President

By John Rigo

May 23, 2008 09:59 am

— Through the course of history in our country there have been many “Presidential Messages to the country” of great importance. One that I would like to hear, would be something like this, “Good Evening, my fellow citizens. Tonight I am speaking to you from the Oval Room of the White house, on a most important matter.
After weeks of discussion, with my advisers, we have come to the conclusion that our country is in a state of crisis involving her possible future, in fact her very existence. The oil crisis in this country has reached levels that within a short few years will destroy our way of life, as we know it today. Our military level of awareness is in danger, the very fabric of our society is in danger.
We are at the mercy of foreign oil countries and held hostage as a free nation. This day, I have requested the Congress to authorize the paying of One Billion Dollars to the first company or individual in this country to invent a working device that would increase the average gas mileage on any automobile by three hundred percent.
Within the guidelines of this invention, the device would not be any larger than a box of corn flakes and easily fitted to any gas automobile. It would be available by the government to any consumer who wishes to buy the item for under two hundred dollars. Such a device would totally free our country from the bounds of the oil producing nations of this world and allow us adequate time to change our energy usage to other positive sources of energy in this country, without short term harm to our citizens.
I, as your President and the Congress of the United States pose this goal on the order of the United States creating the Atomic bomb when it was needed in the Second World War. It would be equal to the goals created by our former President Kennedy in sending our first man to the moon. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time this evening.”